In the beginning it was mainly their communication styles that I worked on and when I became an expert in negotiation skills, that became very important to my clients.
You see, a good negotiator will always get what they set out to get, no matter what.
However, a Great negotiator will not only get what they want, they will also allow the other person in that negotiation to feel like it’s been an equal and amicable interaction.
Doesn’t that sound like your perfect relationship?
So, as you can imagine, being able to negotiate is very valuable in any relationship… work or personal.
So let’s look at the first and most important step in any negotiation…
If you ask the question ‘How do I get what I want’, my answer will always be…
You see, during my years of research into Achievement, I quickly realised that successful people become very specific about what they want. The more specific you can be, the greater your chance of success.
For example, if I were to ask you ‘What do you want?’ you might say ‘Happiness’
And let’s face it, happiness is a really good thing to want. Aand because the human nervous system is designed to focus on what we bring to its attention, your brain will focus on ‘Happiness’. But that’s won’t guarantee that you will be happy. First, you have to become more specific.
If you think about it, the term ‘Happiness’ is actually not specific. For example, if you were to type the word ‘Happiness’ into your search browser, you would get thousands of options.
Other examples of vague answers would be: ‘I want… Happiness, Success, Money, Love’.
But these are all general terms and the mind cannot focus on how to achieve general things. It can only create plans for specific things. So instead, we must ask the question ‘What, specifically, do you mean by happiness? Once you can be specific and say what happiness is to you, you may find that you have several different objectives that need to be identified before you can get what you actually want.
For example: Happiness may be feeling more confident in your own skin or having enough money in the bank, so that you don’t need to worry. Happiness might be waking up every morning to a house filled with family chaos and the giggles and squabbles of small children, where you have hugs and laughs before going to work, or it may be waking up in peace and quiet before taking a swim and working from home.
Remember, the more specific you can be about what you want, the greater your chance of success.
Carol Anne Lowe©